I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
