she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
