you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So here I am, sexting at work.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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