i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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