She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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