Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
