Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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