All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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