Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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