He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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