I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
