grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
