I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
