I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
