just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
