sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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