I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
