You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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