East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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