The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
