we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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