Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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