Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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