Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
