to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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