kristin has been a bad kristin
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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