She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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