Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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