Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
