Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
