I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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