The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
