How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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