I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
