Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
