to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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