called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
