I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
