I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
