community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
