like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
