I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
