He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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