Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
