a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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