Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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