After last night, I could never be a politician.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
