hotel room ftw
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
