I think im going to throw up on grandma
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
