Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
