How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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