All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
