i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
