Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't think brook has ever known best
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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