I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
