we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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