Buhtt sex?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You made out with two different species that night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
