I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
