hell yes lets make some ravioli
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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