How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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