i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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