they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
