I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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