I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
