remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize