Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Randomize
