North Korea, Best Korea!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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