and she was petting her beer can
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
