On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
